Last night I suffered a panic attack. I had indigestion all day, but as one with an anxiety disorder tends to do, I worried about it, focused on it, and soon decided that it may be my heart. I was hurting in the center of my chest, where I had never experienced pain before. I drove myself to the ER, and was promptly seen by a nice and competent nurse. By the time the doctor came into the room, I was shaking all over. He asked if this was normal for me. I told him that I have suffered from panic disorder for well over twenty years, but that the shaking only happened when I was experiencing extreme anxiety. He asked why I was stressed. I replied that I was taking 15 credit hours of classes, working full-time as a nanny, and part-time as a nanny/housekeeper, that I basically had a lot on my plate. Then I blurted out, "And the ELECTION. I'm very upset about the results of the election. I don't think I will ever truly relax again. EVER."
I had done it. I had announced that I was one of the "whiny losers" who needed to "give Trump a chance", and stop complaining. On Facebook, I was told by a friend (en mass) that the only reason Hillary's supporters were so upset was because "now you have to get up off your butts and get a job like the rest of us!" Excuse me, but I am working two jobs, and attending school full-time. I am working much harder than many of the supporters of the president-elect. But because I am self-employed, I do receive health insurance via the Affordable Care Act. I thank God for it because otherwise I could not afford it. I work very, very hard and report all of my earnings, for which I pay income taxes, just like everyone else. If my health insurance is taken from me, I WILL have to "get a job", a traditional job that has health insurance as a benefit. I am a nanny to a special needs child, and I have worked very hard to establish a relationship of trust with him. It would be a terrible loss for this child, should I have to leave my employ. So, yes, I'm whining.
What Trump's supporters cannot seem to grasp is that those of us on the other side are a compassionate lot. We have seen injustices, and spoken against them for decades. The past few years have given us such hope. We were thrilled when the Affordable Care Act passed, and meant that the horrible phrase, "preexisting condition" would no longer be a part of our vernacular. The ruling on same-sex marriage was a balm to Americans who had been largely disenfranchised since the founding of our country. Despite all of our idiosyncrasies and other problems, both large and small, hope was on the horizon.
On Tuesday evening, that hope was shattered. It was taken from us as swiftly and surely as a thief in the night. All of the work that had been accomplished, and the positive strides that had been taken appeared to have vanished in the matter of a few hours. We were stunned. We were heartsick. Many of us became physically ill. What happened to our America? How could a man who threatened to build walls and who represented divisiveness the likes of which our nation has never seen be elected to the highest office in the land? What in the almighty hell was up with the fact that he received 81% of the evangelical vote? My grandmother was a church lady, through and through, and surely she is shaking her head in heaven. To think that someone who used the language that he used and talked about women the way that he did received 81% of the evangelical vote defies all logic. "Well, Mike Pence is an evangelical". Mike Pence WASN'T RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT.
Michael Moore has said for months that this was coming. He has traveled this country and seen the anger of Americans. Americans who didn't care who went to Washington, as long as it was someone outside the establishment. I suspect that a vast majority of the Trump voters were also voting against President Obama. Racism exists in this country, ugly racism. There are millions of Americans who have never accepted President Obama because he is black. His family has been bullied, scrutinized, and had horrible things written about them. So, American decided to elect a polarizing individual with no previous political experience. His wife, who has posed for nude photographs in the past, will be our new First Lady. Not so long ago, Republicans complained that Michelle Obama's sleeveless dresses showed too much of her arms. Hypocrites, every one of them.
So, now we rise. We mourn for awhile, and then we rise from the ashes, and fight like hell. We have to protect the right for every American to be able to afford health insurance. We need to fight for women's rights, especially when it comes to our bodies. We especially need to remember our LGBTQ brothers and sisters. We must never let them feel frightened or alone. We cannot let one man destroy one hundred years of progress.
We will fight the good fight, but fight we will.
